Strength

When I got a divorce, I felt free and strong. I was pleased when I accomplished tasks because I had something to prove to Paul. He made me feel small, weak, unworthy and not capable. So when I left I felt very confident. I was not who Paul said I was.

Tracy thought I was beautiful, smart, funny, amazing. Without him I do not feel like I am any of those things. I have lost all confidence. I am realizing all of the things that are required to maintain a house and a car, I really do not know how to do. I know the concept behind checking the oil, but I really have no idea what lines I should be looking between. According to what I see, we do not own a car that has any oil in it. I do not feel comfortable hiring a painter. I do not feel comfortable hiring a plumber. I feel small again. I am not who Tracy said I was.