Tonight

...has not been especially great. Night is really hard. Tracy really does need to be on a vent at night, because of CO2 build-up but that means long-term care facility and no Cleveland Clinic. He is disoriented and not very nice. Luckily not very strong either so his threats are idle as far as I am concerned. Today though he said again that he thought he was dying and this time I should not try anything heroic. I asked if he thought he should be in the hospital and he responded with an adamant no. I do not want to be there either. He is not eating or doing the breathing exercises that would reduce CO2 build-up. Exercise is not top on his list either. This is so incredibly hard. Regardless, I am glad to be home. Two of the nurses that liked us and live near us stopped by last night which was nice. They said they thought Tracy looked better and for us to not expect too much too soon. So maybe I am just reading too much into everything.