I just read a book called the Other Side of Sadness. One point that it made was this:
People who endeavor to move on and be happy – usually because they feel the deceased would have wanted that – have better lives and outcomes than those who succumb to the idea that grief is a process that must be worked through.
I feel guilty when I am happy even though "Be happy" were the last words in the letter that Tracy wrote to me. I feel guilty when I am sad because that is against the last words in the letter that Tracy wrote to me. It is time to move on. That does not mean I did not love my husband. I did and will continue to love him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a happy fulfilling life and I am the only one who can give that to me.
Thank you to my dad for suggesting I do this. Thank you to my Texas and Georgia family who faithfully read what I write and email me with letters and thoughts of hope. Thank you to my friends who have stood by me and have not once faltered on whether to continue to be my friend through these past years that only be described as torture to both Tracy and myself. Thanks for putting up with my ups and downs (yes mostly downs). I hope I can be as good of friend back.
Most of all thank you to my most precious children whom without I would not have made it this far. You have put up with a lot, tolerated a lot and your support is felt deeply and appreciated more than you will ever know.
